What is Selective Mutism?

Though the experiences people go through vary, in short, selective mutism is a kind of anxiety disorder in which one is unable to speak in certain social settings, but is able to communicate perfectly fine in others.

Symptoms of Selective Mutism may include:

Being nonverbal around strangers

An inability to speak to others

Lack of eye contact and fidgeting

Communicating non-verbally

Only speaking in certain settings, typically at home with familiar people

Note: Having these symptoms does not mean you have selective mutism, and not having some of these symptoms does not mean you don’t. Always be sure to consult your mental health physician.

Strategies for Selective Mutism

Guided Imagery

Guided Imagery is a technique used to distract one’s self from unpleasant emotions or feelings. Using your imagination and 5 sense, you can relax you mind and body by picturing a place in your mind you would most want to be. If you’re feeling overwhelmed in public, guided imagery is a great way to calm yourself down.

Read and Research

Selective mutism is a difficult thing to understand, even for people who have it. It’s important to understand what you’re dealing with so you can take the steps to solve it. Don’t be afraid to pick up a book or look up an article explaining the details of Selective Mutism.

Counting and Deep Breaths

It is best to keep yourself calm in social situations before you start to spiral, and it is too late. Though this one may seem obvious, counting and deep breaths is a great way to keep calm in stressful situations before losing control.

Take Breaks

You know your breaking point better than anyone else. Exposing yourself to uncomfortable situations is important, but so is taking baby steps. If you feel uncomfortable or hopeless in a social setting, take a break. Find a bathroom, splash some water on your face, and take some time to yourself away from the noise before getting back out there.

Practice Realistic Thinking

You might be one of the biggest factors in terms of your anxiety. Overthinking and negative thoughts are both common elements when it comes to selective mutism, so before your assume the worst, catch yourself and practice thinking realistically. Will that person really judge you, or will you be the only one overthinking after the conversation is over?

Be kind to yourself

Selective Mutism might not be widely known or talked about, but that does not make its struggles any less real. By looking at skills and strategies, you’re already taking the first steps. Improvement won’t happen overnight, but it will happen, so don’t be so hard on yourself!

Helpful Q&A

  • You don’t have to throw yourself into the wildest party in order to practice speaking. Ordering food over the phone or buying something from deli are good ways to slowly expose yourself to uncomfortable situations before moving to things more intense.

  • Relationships with those with Selective Mutism vary from person to person, but know that the tiny things you do mean more than you think. Supporting and being there for them is one of the best things you could do—if someone with Selective Mutism is especially comfortable around you, you’re already doing something right!

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of behavioral treatment, commonly used for those with anxiety disorders. Consulting your mental health advisor is the best way to determine whether you need CBT, but don’t be afraid to read up on it too!